Pat - (completely deadpan throughout the entire interview) Yeah... uh... gosh, I don't know... trying to think of where it started. Actually, I wasn't even a part of the band before the brief history. Darius and Big A started the band and they needed a guitar player, so they called a bunch of guitar players who didn't want to jam, and then I said "okay, I'll jam." Went over and rocked with them and uh, kind of formulated a band and then Big A went and decided to quit the band, I guess. And then that's when Dave showed up. That's a brief history.

Dave - Thus completing Last Empire.

Pat - I think. I can't remember. I don't know if that's correct.

Dave - (laughing) That's pretty close. There was another guitar player named Jason Johansson at one point.

Pat - At one point, yeah.

Pat - No, two hundred thousand. (laughter)

Dave - One of these days.

Dave - Yeah, there's actually a killer write-up in Hellion's mail order catalog. And now there's a bunch of good write-ups on sites such as Metal Coven and Metal Observer.

Dave - It was due out at the end of January, but it's looking like the end of February right now. They have six months from the time they signed us to put it out, so I would assume before August. Maybe July.

Dave - Thank you.

Pat - Yeah. Do they?

Pat - 'Kay, that's cool. Cool then. (mild laughter)

Pat - (still completely deadpan) Oh, we're probably going to record upwards of forty songs, but we're going to cut out, like, a lot of them. (Dave laughs) We're probably going to cut out thirty of them, so we have the ten primo songs to the album.

Dave - Ten to twelve. We've got nine written.

Pat - I mean, we've been collaborating with ex-members of Warrant and Skid Row. (laughter) Actually, Skid Row will be in town soon.

Pat - We'd love to go to Europe if somebody would pay our way. Some generous European would give us some money to fly over.

Dave - Yes, some European Master of Metal. (laughter)

Dave - (being sarcastic) Oh, he's crazy. Did you see the lights he was doing tonight? It was awesome.

Pat - That's pretty much what made the show.

Dave - If it wasn't for the lights, I don't think we could have played at all. (laughter)

Dave - We have no real plans for a tour, but if someone wants to book us and pay us, then we'll go.

Pat - Yeah, most definitely. I'd go to L.A. to play.

Dave - Sure, we'll play in the States, but we're not flying to Europe on our dime. We don't have that dime; we're struggling musicians. (laughter)

Pat - He works at a record store and I mow lawns. (laughter) That would explain dirty pants.

Dave - That's a very metal occupation, by the way.

Dave - No comment. (laughter)

Pat - Yeah, I pissed on 'em.

Dave - Aaagghhh! (laughter)

Pat - (yep, still deadpan) Kevin DuBrow was making passes at me and I just said "no way, dude," so I pissed on his car door. (laughter)

Dave - No, not in it's current form; we might rewrite it. These songs are coming so quickly that its hard to rewrite some old songs.

Pat - It really is. Boom, boom, boom, boom; Dave's always coming up with new bass riffs, coming to practice, making phone calls saying "hey Pat, you gotta listen to this, dude." And I'm like, "okay dude, let's work on that."

Dave - Killer!

Pat - Then me and Dave will go to the goodwill and buy figurines of unicorns and talk about stuff. (laughter)

Dave - And a day later, we've got a metal song. It's amazing, absolutely amazing.

Pat - Very gay.

Dave - I didn't know Manowar had thunder. (laughter)

Pat - I doubt that. I mean, come on. Manowar are gods.

Dave - Who could touch Manowar?

Pat - He just idolizes Manowar and that's fine. More power to him. But... (long pause followed by laughter)

Dave - Hey, you know what? Manowar has sold way more records than us, so I've got respect for 'em.

Pat - That's right. And they ride horses made of steel. (laughter)