Von Sirius  
Reviewed - 05/15/05
The Mystical Doktryn Of Spiritual Accomplishment
[Nihil Voices]


Does Von Sirius stand for "Are You Serious?" in French? Hell, I don't even know if that is a French name and/or term but I do know the band is French and while I like unique music and bands that do things that set their sound apart from the mainstream, there is a such thing as being so different, so odd, and so eclectic that even I don't like it. Von Sirius's new album "The Mystical Doktryn Of Spiritual Accomplishment" is just such an album. It's got so much going on that it's too hard for me to follow and I ended up not enjoying it very much. It's an overload of retardedness.

These Frenchies combine elements of Black Metal, Industrial Metal, Gothic Metal and 70's Electro Synth-Pop all in one hard to digest wall of sound. It's fitting that the album hints at New Age ways of thinking because this album is something I could imagine those California New Agers listening to while they are sitting around a circle in a trance. The keyboard stuff is just fruity sounding and sounds like it was played through the cheap Casio keyboard my cousin Nathan got for his birthday back in 1980. The synths remind me of the music one may hear in a club, rave or teen dance party. The odd sound effects are annoying as well. The Metal portions of the album, while few and far between, are okay at best. The guitars are played out in a more traditional Metal style and at times get a bit Thrashy, but it just doesn't cut it. The keyboards are the main focus and they suck so they drag the rest of the album down.

The vocals are a fucking joke. The clean vocals sound so uninspired and boring that they come off like the vocalist himself is bored of his own singing. I know this droning clean vocal style is a trademark for Goth music, but for the love of all that is unholy these are about the worst vocals I've ever heard. The two or three times the vocalist uses a Black Metal style of singing things sound a bit better, but even they are not anything I'd call even "good". Also, the few BM styled vocals here are all that resembles Black Metal in their music, yet they describe themselves (partially) as a Black Metal band. Okay, back on track... How am I as a listener supposed to like a band's music when the band comes across as sounding like they'd rather be sitting all alone in a dark room somewhere whining about how bad their life is instead of playing music? The lyrics are written in French for the most part (I think), but a song here or there is in English. I don't know what the lyrics are about as they aren't printed in the booklet, nor do I care what they are about. It sounds like they just keep repeating the same lyrics over and over again ad nausea.

"The Mystical Doktryn Of Spiritual Accomplishment" has a great sound to it. For having so many crappy sounding keyboards they actually don't drown everything else on the album out. It's a bad album, but at least it's a well produced bad album!

The layout and packaging of the album is totally lost on me. I guess since I don't take drugs or have a problem with depression I have no idea what's going on with this layout, much like their music. The cover shows some dude in religious garb with a wand in his hand. He's looking all-knowing and tough, but I bet my sister could beat him severely. He's standing behind some contraption that I can't for the life of me tell what it is. Hopefully it's some sort of death machine that he's going to use on himself so I never have to listen to another Von Sirius album again. The inside has no lyrics and instead the eight pages of the booklet has all sorts of religious and cultural symbols, most of which I have no idea what they represent.

A few fans of Rammstein might find some of the more Metal parts of this album to their liking, but I'd recommend to Rammstein fans to listen to this first before buying it because you may not like all keyboard shit on the album. The majority of this album is Goth and Synth music anyway and the Metal aspect is more an afterthought, so you have been warned. Von Sirius tried to "enlighten" me with their music, but I didn't fall for their hippy mumbo-jumbo. May the powers that be steer you away from this album forever and always!

Tracklist: 
01. La Feu Sacre
02. Espoir A Vorte
03. The Call Of Von Sirius
04. SadX
05. Babalon
06. You Ruined It All
07. Priere
08. Deliverance
Rating: 3/10  
Release Date: 2004  
Length: 42:01  
Review By: Britton Dicks  
Total Reviews: (1)  
Bands Website: Go Here