Reviewed - 09/05/05

Synod
[Krankenhaus Records]

From the frozen tundra to the north that we ugly Americans like to call "Canadia" comes the technical death metal of Toronto, Ontario's Wetwork. There are plenty of time changes, exploratory riffs, headbanging grooves, atmospherics, melodies, fills, scales, blah, blah, and also blah; but what makes it all work is the songwriting and attitude. This is one of those few bands who manage to channel Death while also giving that sound their own, modern spin. Simply put, Wetwork does it right and avoids sounding like a throwback.

Now, I have to say up front that Wetwork's vocalist Doc has a vagina (well, I'm assuming that based on her being a girl and all, but you never know these days). Fear of sneaky transsexuals aside, I don't care what Doc is as long as she's a good vocalist, but that's really important to some of you. Without ever even hearing a note from this band, some of you who are idiots will automatically write this band off as a gimmick while other idiots will automatically worship them as the next Jesus for idiots. Both of you idiots are really fucking idiotic, but I do see where both of you idiots are coming from. Too many bands are doing very safe, mediocre metal, but because they have a MILF-ish vocalist they get a slot on Ozzfest while other, far better bands get ignored simply because they all have penises. Hey, that's life. Boobies talk; penises don't. I mean, I'm not really bothered that women get all kinds of things just because they have boobies. At least, we men still get paid more for the same work, so I guess it just evens out. (Ha! I'm kidding, but all of you outraged women feel free to send me angry emails… and include pictures. I'm lonely.)

What was I saying? Right. Boobies. Anyway, Wetwork's vocalist has them, but she also has pretty good pipes. It's kind of raspy and even a little feminine. Surprisingly, her voice also contains a little bit of personality which is often lacking in death metal vocals. She also throws in some lower growls of the more typical death style just to keep things interesting, but mostly sticks to her mid/high raspy range. Now, I'm not saying she's fantastic, I'm just saying she's exactly what this style of music needs. Anyone who is into this type of death metal knows what I'm talking about. She has good phrasing that keeps up with and compliments the technically proficient music without overshadowing or undershadowing anything. She has a nice, organic (read: raw) feel to the overall sound of her voice that's exactly in keeping with the band's sound.

Now when I use words like "organic" or "raw" it's good to keep in mind that I don't mean "badly produced". Synod is actually produced very well, but it has just the slightest hint of old school "dirt" to it that's pretty cool. Sure, I wouldn't mind seeing what would happen if, say, Devin Townsend happened to produce their next album, but I also wonder if that might be overkill for what Wetwork are trying to accomplish. I'm not sure if a more polished feel would help or hinder them. Everything works so well as it is that I'm not sure if they should mess with a winning formula once they sign to a bigger label - and they will sign to a bigger label, I'm sure.

In terms of pure music, the musicianship is extremely tight and very impressive. Now, those of you who know me know that I often give a lot of shit to "technical" bands. You might not have realized that I actually love technically proficient bands as long as the technicality is in service to the song. Bands like that seemed to be in short supply a few years ago, but are quite possibly on a comeback as of late. In the case of Wetwork, these guys (and girl) are just all over the place, but more impressive is that they know how to let a song breathe a little. The band takes little atmospheric or melodic excursions outside the typical technical death metal intensity which allow the album a greater sense of depth and purpose. But there are also plenty of times when the technicality is pulled back just to let a great groove take control and have it's way with you like a French whore with a whip who calls herself "Mistress Kitten Kaboodle" and charges upwards of $500 an hour depending on where you make her stick the dildo… um, what was I saying? Right, boobies… no… metal? Right. Metal.

Clearly I am either oversexed or undersexed and cannot continue this review without further jackassifying myself. I'll just sum it up for you: Wetwork are one of the best technical death metal bands you're likely to hear this decade and they will soon be well-known outside of Canada. I'm even willing to predict that they will sign to Candlelight Records.

Unless you really want to read something even more incoherent than what you've read so far, I suggest you stop reading now.

I do have to complain about some shit that might seem petty, but is bugging me. First, typos on the back of an album are just inexcusable. "Hipocrisy"? It's called spell check, people. I have to say to Krankenhaus Records that you should not have allowed that. Dumb mistakes like that are exactly why you're going to lose Wetwork to Candlelight Records in the next year or so. I will forgive the misspelling of "Pontius Pilate" since it's a name and maybe it was intentional or something.

Secondly, while vocalist Doc does a great job overall, she invented a word and it just doesn't work (unlike my creative invention of "jackassifying" which is both funny and informative). Doc, there really is no such word as "repention". I realize that you can technically make up words in that way with English's flexibility, but there's just no need to when a proper word already exists. You probably meant "repentance" and it just sounds unintelligent especially since you used it in the title of the song. Shakespeare could invent words, but that was back when there were fewer words because they hadn't yet invented grade school.

Thirdly, there's just something insipid about putting the definition to your band name and album title inside your booklet. What? You trying to prove that you have access to a dictionary? I guarantee that we never doubted your dictionary skills. That one is probably the fault of the layout guy, though ultimately, I have to also blame the label yet again for not saying something to the effect of, "dictionaries are common in most educated households and the ones that don't have them won't care what your name means." Again Krankenhaus Records, Candlelight is breathing down your neck, so you better shape up.

Lastly, I'd like to point out to Wetwork that you guys have a killer logo and you need to display it more prominently in the artwork rather than hide it in the background. I would also like to see a t-shirt with that logo and little else. I think it would rule. Thank you and good luck on Candlelight Records.